How dies it feel to olay oretend at any social media platform and never let a genuine thought slip
I was thinking “oh but I can’t be autistic, I’m so good at eye contact and small talk! I know all the right ratios for looking/not looking and asking/answering questions! I even know the best posture to communicate low-stakes friendliness (about 15 degrees from facing them. weight on one leg. 70% eye contact. still hands.) everybody says I’m great!” before realizing I may be refuting my own point
Yeah, my one-question autism screening is “how do you make eye contact”. If you can comprehend the question, you’re autistic.
“see, I have the eye contact nailed down, I have a system”
my system is, try to focus on what I’m saying and forget the other person has eyes that are intently piercing through mine. Or if the other person makes me too nervous I look at their eyes until I can’t anymore and need to rest, that’s the awkward strategy I have.
(via quasarkisses)
“you only say you’re autistic because you want to feel special and different” actually finding out i was autistic made me feel significantly less special and different. before i was autistic i was Strange and Unpredictable in some sort of Unknowable way which Surely meant i was Predestined for Greatness (like storybook character). now im just some fuckin autistic guy like any other. i significantly prefer it this way btw
reading the symptoms of autism as a now grown adult after being bullied for no explainable reason all your life
